Potty time

Pardon me for being a bit absentee this week but we’ve been potty training over the last few days. It dawned on me that Jasper will be starting preschool in a few weeks so we need to get down to business. I haven’t been in much of a hurry because this is my baby we’re talking about, and diapers are the last thing I have to prove he’s not a quite a big boy. It’s sad to realize that I am not the mom of a baby anymore, since I have been for almost 14 years (although I did have a blissful period when Arabella was in preschool but then I went crazy and had two more children. But now I’m really done–surgical measures have been takenso let’s not get technical, OK?)

If you have a child over two I don’t have to tell you about the hell on earth that is potty training.  To this day it’s my most hated part of parenting.  The endless pairs of wet panties (not to mention clothes);  The poop that does not make it into the toilet; the endless cajoling/bribing/threatening (“you’ll get a star/candy/toy every time you go potty in the toilet”, said in the most sing-songy, hyper-enthusiastic voice you posess).

   

I’m not one of those moms who’s in a contest.  I don’t care when my kids walk or talk.  They’ll figure it out eventually so what’s the big deal?  My mother likes to brag as often as possible about how I could speak in full sentences by the time I was one.  Whoop-dee-do.  It’s not like that’s ever helped me get a job or good grades (as evidenced by my long and illustrious career as a waitress and a horrendous GPA). So I don’t push my kids to go to the potty before they’re ready.  Besides, changing diapers isn’t that big of a deal. It takes maybe 30 seconds.  If we had to use rags like in Russia I’d probably think differently.  But I’m rather fond of diapers and think they do a good job.

It’s wonderful once the kids are potty-trained, but getting them there?  Ugh.  I’m pretty sure it’s one of the circles in Dante’s Inferno.


Jasper seems to be grasping the concept of peeing in the toilet just fine (although it’s only been four days so we’re still in the honeymoon phase when you think the child might actually catch on really fast and that this time potty-training will be a breeze.) Pooping, though, is another story altogether.

Now I’m just trying to decide . . . do we dare let him wear underpants at church today?  Or does that have “disaster” written all over it?

Stay tuned for part two of “How Many Pairs of Underwear Can I Wash in One Day?”

| Filed under Bad Things, I'm Not So Great

8 thoughts on “Potty time

  1. I was so hoping this was a post about how amazing you were at potty training so I could send my Avery over to you! I'm not a fan of potty training, although Ty was pretty easy once we started – and it was great since Brent trained him! I'm not a fan of diapers either! Hope it goes well with Jasper.

  2. I totally get this. I'm currently potty training number 4 and it just doesn't get any easier. Oh, and don't peek in my laundry room unless you want to see the five pairs of panties that have been deemed unusable by the trainee/trainer.

  3. I'm a complete failure at potty training. the only time I've been successful was when I decided with number 5 I was never going to do it again. He was completely on his own. His big sister felt bad for him, and she did it for me. I guess, I don't remember and he's 9 now, so something worked.

    Good Luck!

  4. I have sworn to myself that before we take on potty training the sequel I'll get rid of all carpet and install rubber floors that can be hosed down.

  5. I'm not sure if I'm crazy, but I'm seriously contemplating potty training Beck. I know he's only 2 1/2, but he's already pooped and peed in the toilet. is it too young? Am I setting myself up for serious torment if I try it this early???

    Good luck with Jasper! (wow, preschool!!!)

  6. I'm right there with ya. Except I'm on my first and you are on your last! (So jealous!) My big beef with training so far is the countless minutes/hours sitting in the bathroom waiting for something to happen. I get so impatient! When I try to suggest we try again later, I hear "No, it's coming!" only to sit another 10 minutes for nothing. So aggrevating!

    I'm going to give up until after our trip to UT in Sept. Diapers are bliss! We wont' have to stop every 20 miles for a fake-out potty trip!

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