The scoop on poop

You knew something like this would happen.  After all, I’ve told you that I’m potty-training Jasper and he won’t poop in the toilet.

So here’s how it went down:  Ada comes in from the backyard yelling that Jasper has pooped in his pants again.  I go outside and there is Jasper, frolicking in his starkers, with poop smeared all over himself.  But where are the panties* full of poop?  Oh, there they are over in the middle of the lawn†. 

Hey, wait a sec, what’s the dog doing??? Oh no, she is eating the poop!!! 

I grab Maggie with her face covered in poo;  grab Jasper (also covered in poo) and throw them both in the shower, squirting baby soap and dog shampoo in their general direction.

If I were an amateur mom I would be shrieking and almost passing out.  But after six kids and two dogs, these nasty shenanigans don’t even rock my boat.  

(Best of all, Mister chose that moment to come home from work and find me scrubbing everyone down in the shower.  I looked so industrious.)

*In our house all underpants are referred to as panties whether they belong to males or females. 

†Which is now dead, brown and petrified due to having the hottest July on record here in Austin. Today we will be having our 47th day this year of triple digit temps. Please feel sorry for us.

| Filed under Pets, Yuck

10 thoughts on “The scoop on poop

  1. One more reason why I don't own a dog.

    Also, I feel your temperature pain, but not until February. And our "triple" digit is made so by the "negative" sign in front of the other number.

    Meanwhile, I was upset that it's going to be a "super hot" 90 degrees tomorrow when we have company…

  2. HOLY CRAP. Love the comment about how you are not an amateur mom – I remember thinking that the day Solei and I had a massive layover in a remote airport and we were both getting over the worst stomach flu ever and I forgot to pack an extra outfit for her – I saw a bubble of sick poo coming up from her diaper, but before I let her stand up and let it touch her shirt and get everything messy, I used my hand, scooped the bubble and threw it in the trash and hauled her to the bathroom and saved the day. Yeah, the people around us looked at me like I was disgusting, but I didn't blink an eyelash. I'm a professional, dang it.

  3. It is always nice to look industrious for your husband, but not too industrious or he'll think you can handle even more stuff like mowing the lawn.

    And you're right there is a point when you get over being grossed out by poop. Might be the fact that my life has been all about poop for 8 years now…

  4. With the weather as it is, I'm surprised you had an outside poop incident.

    I'm sorry about the poop incident, but mostly about the weather. Ugh.

  5. With my 5th I had the same problem. Wouldn't do it. Was like he was afraid to do it or something. Finally resorted to bribery. Me "If you could have any kind of candy if you pooped in the potty what would you choose?" Him "Butterfinger 'cause they look like poos." A month and three fun size bags of Butterfingers he was completely trained. Though we did have a few tantrums after that because he was pretty sure he should get a Butterfinger each time he went poop in the toilet for the rest of his life.

  6. Loved this! And the other comments too! We are training child number 4. So far so good.

    Loved the comment about the professional mom being immune to the grossness of poop!

    We haven't had much summer here in NY. Sorry you are melting.

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