Boy oh boy, have I got some news for you! I got a new bra! I know, I know; you’re impressed. But I actually had a free afternoon sans kids (thanks Mom!) and decided to give The Girls the support and shiny white satin they deserve.
If you haven’t been bra shopping lately, you might not realize that there have been some great technological advances recently in bra-dom. I ended up with a bra promising “An Instant Bust Makeover”. If any bust deserves a make-over, it’s mine. If I had known how things would look after nursing six babies, I would have strutted my pre-pregnancy self around topless all day long. But lets not get too graphic.
The lucky bra I chose features the “Total Solution”. Its “Smartzone Cup Technology” lifts, contours and (my favorite) “rejuvenates shape”. Oh, yes, it does. My arms keep knocking into my boobs which are back where they used to be.
Here are some tips about trying on bras:
–It is recommended that a saleslady measure you. Since I know my way around a tape measure I did it myself. Find some website that tells you what the numbers mean.
–Start with a couple of bra styles that look promising. Then get four or five size variations in each style. And make sure to get bigger sizes than you think you might wear. Seeing a woman with cups spilling over is no treat for the general public. And just blame your babies for making your ribcage so gigantic.
–When you go shopping make sure you have on the snuggest knit shirt you regularly wear. Then try that shirt on over your bra-to-be. A bra that can seem promising on your naked flesh can look lumpy and gross with clothes on over the top (just ignore the gigantic tags hanging everywhere).
–Try not to faint when you see The Girls in the bright, flourescent light. It’s always a shocker. And don’t throw up when it’s time to put your old bra back on. It looked fine before you tried on new bras, but afterwards it seems shockingly lackluster and dingy.
–Shop wherever you want but Kohl’s has a TON of choices. The service is lacking, though, which means you’ll have to redress every time you need to get a new size.
Maybe we should all make a New Year’s resolution to get a new bra. It’s a lot easier than that pesky “try to lose weight” thing.