Can you believe that school is almost over and I haven’t complained once about all the silly end-of-school activities that are happening? Welp, here it comes. Basically the last two weeks are nothing but fun times. The kids stop learning ten days before school ends because, hey, why not? Who needs to learn anything? So now we have Field Day (also knows as the festival of water. Which I can’t blame them for since it’s been in the 90’s all week), Campout Day (bring a tent! Bring a blanket! Spread lice to all your friends!), Park Day (not to be confused with Field Day), and scores of Field Trips. This all culminates with the mother of all dumb and boring events: Fifth Grade Graduation. I don’t even know why this is celebrated. It’s not like there are any kids who don’t graduate from fifth grade. It’s about as meaningful as having an awards ceremony for kids who are over four feet tall.
The most dreadful part of the graduation ceremony is the world longest slide show. There are hundreds of pictures of fifth graders doing two things: the girls are all hugging each other and the boys are all making weird faces. I don’t know who 75% of these kids are! When I went to York’s graduation I left after 40 minutes of the slide show.
I was talking to the PTA President a few weeks ago. She’s a good friend of mine and was complaining how no parents are signing up to help with the activities. “People don’t realize that if nobody signs up to help, we’ll have to cancel the event!” she wailed. My gears started turning and I told her that I for sure will not be signing up to help at 5th Grade Graduation. “nice try, Jennie,” she answered. “We’ll never cancel that.”