First of all, today is the last day of school before Christmas vacation. Thus it is my last day to run errands child-free. You have scheduled my child’s class party for 9 am. Just because all the other parents take their children home as soon as the party ends, it doesn’t mean that I will as well. I don’t plan on my child leaving school until the properly appointed hour. I’m about to be with my child 24/7 for the next 15 days and I don’t want to start any earlier than is necessary. And despite what that snotty mom in the hallway said to me yesterday, this is not because I have six children so I must really be sick of kids most of the time. It’s because I hate taking my kids to run errands. What mother doesn’t???

Secondly, my kids do not need any more cheap plastic crap. I know how important it is to create every perfect memory for our kids (actually it isn’t, but let’s not split hairs), but bringing goodie bags and asking each child to provide stuff for them is total overkill. We really don’t need an assortment of junk from the Oriental Trading Company. (Which is why, out of spite, I made a bar of soap for every child. Boring, but at least it’s homemade.)

Thirdly, How many parents does it take to watch fifteen kids frost sugar cookies? Give up? 26! You didn’t know that, did you? But parents were needed not just for the cookie decorating but to help decorate the embroidered, personalized aprons for each child (there’s that parental overkill again).

I realize what a magical time this is, but you are killing me, school. You are wearing me out and making me hate this time of year.

–Jennie W.

P.S. I’ll like the kids’ choir songs just as much in January so let’s do the concert then!