It’s May–the month that kills.

This is the end of May. Like you didn’t know that. But May is brutal. It is busybusybusy. Much like December, but without being pine-scented. There is the end-of-the-schoolyear everything: Concerts, tournaments, dinners, awards assemblies, concerts, graduations. And teacher gifts. Let’s not forget the angst those cause.

Thursday (probably today by the time you read this) is when the ugliness is expected to come to a head.* Mister and I have four events we simply MUST attend. I will be shirking Preschool Graduation (good thing it’s held at a mega-church so Jasper will never know that Grandma was the only who came).

I kind of waffled about my Bollywood dance class. But we’re learning new choreography and I’ll be totally lost the next time an Indian musical number comes up in my life (Ok, so that will never happen. But a girl should be prepared!)

There’s also the mandatory meeting for next year’s High School track team. That would include York along with his mother. Any time I hear the word “mandatory” I know what they really mean is “boring” and “talking a lot”. Especially about my favorite topic, parental involvement.

Mister has a bunch of important meetings he can’t get out of (of course). So I’m flying solo.

Because I’m a dummy I also scheduled dentist appointments for all the kids this week (the kind where they all get fillings), an Ortho consult for Arabella ($3000 for phase one, thankyouverymuch), York at the eye doctor (he might be our first child to get glasses although he swears the constant squinting is not because he can’t see).

Additionally Clover will be getting his balls cut off this next week. I hope that means he’ll be spending less time meowing at the back door, begging for some free time to spend with his ladyfriends. He’s driving me batty. In a possibly related topic, York’s best friend’s cat is pregnant.

We’ve already had our last baseball game/band concert/choir awards banquet. Now we only have two Choir concerts/Kindergarten graduation/Field Day (oh, would I mind bringing a cooler full of water balloons? And the kids are supposed to wear water shoes. Which nobody has.)

I almost forgot that it was Arabella’s birthday on Monday! She turned ten. And because she is the poor middle child that gets picked on by everyone including her 6 year-old sister, I tend to overdo it on her birthday. It soothes my mother’s guilt. You want homemade muffins for breakfast at 6:30 am? OK! Homemade truffles for your entire class? No problemo! Two kinds of pie instead of a birthday cake? Uhhh, I guess so. And you want me to bring you a toasted turkey sandwich from your favorite restaurant that’s fifteen minutes away and sit in your school lunchroom and eat it with you? Gulp. All right. Let’s just say that I haven’t wanted to set foot in the kitchen since then. I’m still cleaning out dirty mixing bowls. That might also explain the nasty fruit fly invasion that’s going on. All the more reason to not go near the kitchen.

Guess what I’ll be doing the entire first week of June? Staying in bed. I plan on catching up on all those books I haven’t read while my kids eat nothing but cereal and Hot Pockets.

Anybody else ready to self-destruct this month?

*I was pretty peeved to find that the world will be ending on the 21st. Couldn’t it have been earlier this month when I was still in a good mood?

13 thoughts on “It’s May–the month that kills.

  1. Oh Kel, I am so thankful to not have to take exams on top of it all. I know my brain would definitely explode if that happened. Finals are horrid.

  2. I feel your pain, only mine is still accelerating. Moving Sucks. Especially since my husband is going to be absent for almost all of it from here on out. I think I'm going to explode.

  3. balls cut off—baaahhaahhaa

    I don't want my kids to learn a musical instrument because I don't want to have to go to concerts–horrible right?

    And the fruit flies–They love my house–here's a tip. Put BALSAMIC vinegar in a little bowl, cover the bowl with plastic wrap and cut a few holes in the plastic so they can get it. Then they fly in and either drown in the vinegar, or for some reason–can't find a hole to leave.

    I get odd satisfaction out of seeing all the little annoying jerks die.

  4. Don't I WISH the world would end on the 21st! (Who said so?)

    The vinegar thing worked for me last week, but the "HOW TO" article said to use only CIDER vinegar cause it smells like rotting fruit, and to dilute it with water and a drop of dish soap (which ruins their wings). I got about 40 of the buggers overnight. They were all gone in 3 days.

  5. "balls cut off" awesome.

    I'm feel your pain sista. All this busyness is really getting in the way of what I want to do (eat cookies and watch t.v.) Ugh!

  6. So nice to do all that for Arabella!

    What's with teacher gifts? It seems every other post you're making a gift for the teacher. Is it a private-school thing? I remember at Challenger we did gifts like those a lot, but never anywhere else….

  7. holy smokes. You don't know me but I am (was) a faithful reader. BUT my Mom got sick and I haven't blogged or read blogs in months. Until today. And I have to say how I have missed you and your honesty and sense of humor. Bravo to the 'outing' of May. It sucks. Our pouting comes from teacher after teacher trying to cram everything in before the end of the year. Including all the grade requirements. Anyhow, its good to read you again.

  8. Found you through Tracy's blog & Amen to this post! When did May become worse than Christmas? I do not remember it being like this when I was a kid, but it is enough to put a mom in the hospital for exhaustion! Great post & hope that you are relaxing now & can sleep in this week! I would be, but my son has football camp all week that started bright & early yesterday morning!

  9. I really thought having a baby due in May was the best luck I ever had. Until AFTER I had the baby and had crazy amounts of children things to go to: graduation for both kids, concerts for both kids, jumpy house day for both kids (sent hubby to that) as well as a bunch of other end-of-year stuff. NOT easy to do with a newborn, a pinched nerve, and mastitis. Sadly, no teacher gifts this year. I feel bad. But not enough to do something about it.

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