Last week our ward was split. My neighborhood plus a couple of others were sliced off of the mother-ward and combined with a few slices of a neighboring ward. It will be fine, but there were a lot of really great families in our old ward.
Anyway, we got a new bishop, a guy I’ve never seen before. It was also fast Sunday for us. Since I was still on a high from the new job/selling the house I decided to be the first one up at the podium (the new bishop beat me, darn it!) I did a nice job, I think, but then totally erased all the spirituality by saying, “I’m in your new ward Bishop!” [turned around and gave a smile and little wave] “just let me say that I hate kids, so please don’t call me to primary!” And then I sat down.
Jeez, I’m an idiot. Mister gave me the death stare when I sat down (I get that whenever I do something that embarrasses him. I’m on the receiving end of it a lot.) The whole rest of the day I had people coming up to me going, “hey, it’s the new Primary president!” The worst part is that it made me sound like I don’t like my children. Which I do! And I’m a super great mom! Fortunately I won’t be the Primary president because I’m not the administrative type. I always get the teaching callings. Or my current calling: Enrichment Committee Member (Funnest calling ever!!!)
Yesterday we had to meet with the Stake Presidency (for Mister–not me. Same calling he had before.) I finally had a chance to explain my ridiculous testimony. They laughed and thought what I said was hilarious. Thank goodness. It’s really been bothering me. Moral of the story: don’t try to be funny in your testimony.
And all you members of the new ward–we’ll be staying at the 1:00 time all through next year!!! The Stake Pres. thought it would look like he was pulling strings if he requested the 9 am time for his home ward. I said, “you’re supposed to pull strings! That’s the only perk of being Stake President!” He’s so much more humble. Which is why he has that calling and not me (That, and I’m a girl.)
7 thoughts on “Insert foot”
I thought it was hilarious. Everyone knows you have six kids, so any profession that you “hate kids” was clearly not serious. Even if the new bishop didn’t know you have six kids, the way you said it was clearly in a joking manner. No worries!
I pretty much agreed with your assessment. lol. Great testimony. Then your line to the bishop. What? Slip of the tongue. It was pretty funny, because I know you and your humor. My son, on the other hand, does not. And he felt bad for your kids. I straightened him out and told him you love them. I was wondering if your husband was dying. Thanks for the clarification. You’re truly going to be missed Jennie. I miss you already. Especially on the Enrichment Committee!
Reminds me of the time Jared “couldn’t think of anything else to say” so he told the WHOLE WARD I was PREGNANT, “Again”. Of course, I wasn’t quite 3 mos, and we HAD NOT told our families!!!
I gently reminded him, that if you “can’t think of anything else to say” you say “AMEN” and SIT DOWN!!!!
BTW, I think it’s about time you had a primary calling….Nursery Leader perhaps??? hee hee
Oh, I wish we lived in Austin!
Fabulous! Years ago, hunky hubby and I were meeting with the Stake Pres. He said they wanted to “meet” some of the younger couples in the stake. Somehow we ended up bringing our son who was only 3 with us. He was really fascinated with watching me change a friends daughters diaper all the time. While we were sitting there exchanging pleasantries, the Stake President asked my son how he was. G answered, “Excuse me, but do you have a penis?” I DIED! I grabbed him and ran out of the room.
(my hubby still ended up with the calling, but I was mortified every time I saw the man.)
I loved your comment! I giggled and giggled and then giggled some more. Glad to hear the SP took it lightly as well.
Yeah we heard about the whole staying at 1pm time when JL got his calling last Sunday. Major bummer there.
Glad you are moving over with us 😉 I’d miss your humor! Hope we stay pard’ners!
My relief society president always says, “Information preceeds inspiration.” So true, no? I think you did the right thing by letting everyone necessary know your needs.
Well, at least you didn’t cut your toenails IN THE CHAPEL and then blog about it so everyone would know. So, you have a partner in doing…ahem…”interesting” things at church. I love a woman who says what she thinks.
PS I got here via Shawn.