He loves me, he loves me not

 I just got back from the grocery store.  I asked Mister to pick up some eggs last night and he did.  Then he proceeded to use them all for breakfast this morning.  I got breakfast in bed, so I can’t exactly be mean about it.  But I was a little peeved about having to trudge over to the store right in the middle of cookie-baking.

Anyway, it was quite a frenzy in the grocery store floral department, it being Valentine’s Day and all.  I love the pink and red and cheesy hearts part of Valentine’s Day.  I do not, however, love the forced romanticism of the holiday.  It’s basically a holiday for people who don’t feel loved.  If your beloved is nice and thoughtful most of the time, then Valentine’s Day seems a little redundant.  If he’s (or she’s) nasty and inconsiderate, or worse (ignores you!) then Valentine’s Day is the time for him to pony up and show you what he really thinks.

The guy standing behind me in line made me realize one thing.  A man who gives a woman a single red rose is a chump.  Pure and simple.

Red roses = lack of imagination
A single flower = cheap  

Red roses are the McDonalds of flowers.  Yes, if you’re starving to death, McDonalds sounds pretty great.  Otherwise it’s the least imaginative, bland choice out there. (That being said, I love McDonalds fries.) Fellas, find out her favorite flower and give her those. Bonus points if they’re something really exotic or hard-to-find like gardenias or lilies-of-the-valley.

A single flower?  It looks like you went shopping at the Quickie mart.  Especially if it’s still wrapped in that cellophane cone.  Better to get a big bunch of cheap flowers than one overpriced rose.

I would also like to condemn any man who gets a grown woman a stuffed animal, but I have come to realize that there are some women who actually like stuffed animals.  I can’t imagine that I would ever be friends with one, but who knows.

 Ladies, if you’re still at a loss for a Valentine’s present for your man, just do what I do; give a nice-looking certificate for “Anything Goes” ess-ee-ex, if you catch my drift. Those guys always have some crazy stuff they’re thinking of in the backs of their minds. As long as it doesn’t involve other people, go for it.

Happy Valentines Day everybody!
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8 thoughts on “He loves me, he loves me not

  1. I think the last paragraph would violate Jared’s “TMI” radar, although, I’m sure he would appreciate what you suggest….

    I remember one year at BYU I had “dated” this guy for about 2 weeks when he gave me a small stuffed bear and a box of conversation hearts for Valentine’s Day. At that moment my eyes were opened and I thought, “Oh my gosh.. how am I going out with this big of a loser!” I ran away as quickly as possible. I’m sure he was utterly confused….

    I agree on your “forced romantic holiday” theory! Last year we went out on the “big day”. The restaurant was so busy that they’d converted a banquet room into a regular dining room, full of 36 tables for 2 with the identical single rose vase in the middle. I felt like we were at a speed dating location….We agreed that was the LAST time we’d try to go out for a romantic dinner on a “romantic day”.

  2. I like red roses, even just one, but I agree that I don’t like forced romance. Valentine’s is all about our family around here! Not just the hubby and I!

  3. I remember a few years back, I was over at a friend’s house for a visit. She was a very classy, somewhat snobby kind of girl. Always had a headband on and a fancy button down tucked into pressed pants. Anyways, I went into her bedroom for the first time and was shocked to see her entire king size bed COVERED in stuffed animals. Who knew? She then proceeded to talk about them as if they were real. Hmmmm….. I wondered how her husband felt about sharing the bed with all of the animals?!?!?

  4. I could not agree more. In fact, I was just thinking about this topic half an hour ago as I surveyed the pretty small, dark pink lillies DH bought me for Valentine’s Day. Although I can’t say they’re my favorite flower, I am SO grateful he knows me well enough to never ever get me red roses. I think, like you, that they show the least imagination and thought. So trite! I guess if your favorite flower is a red rose (please tell me it’s not), then he’s done alright. Otherwise, he gets an F in my book.

    2 years ago DH went to get me some white and pink lillies for V day. And the lady at the florist tried really hard to convince him to get red roses. “You don’t know my wife” he told her. And the guy behind him said “I never thought of getting anything but roses. I think I’ll try something different this year.” That made me so proud that DH was MY man.

  5. For the last 15 (or 30) years, Valentine’s has been about making each member of my family a plate-size valentine cookie, which usually took them a month to eat.

    This year I’m on an LDS employment mission, plus work at the temple, plus baby sit grandkids, plus help people write resumes. I FORGOT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY COOKIES FOR KIDS AND GRANDKIDS! SHAME WRACKS MY LIFE!!!!

    But I did deliver a chocolate heart to each of my Visiting Teachees.

    Nobody, anywhere, related or not, gave me as much as a phone call. So, serves them right! (But I still feel like a washout.)

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