Cops and cookies

Yesterday, Valentine’s Day, I decided to make a big heart-shaped chocolate chip cookie for a friend. I ended up making way too much dough so I thought, “who could use a cookie? Probably nobody since we all have sugared-out kids by Valentine’s Day afternoon.” But then I thought about my next-door neighbor. He’s a cop (excuse me, a constable. I thought they only had those in Victorian England, but that’s what’s written on the side of his patrol car). When we moved in he seemed to be a typical jerk of a cop. The first time we met was when he left a mean note on our door telling us to get the garbage that had blown out of our cans into his yard. (Nice to meet you too, sir!)

It turns out he’s just kind of shy. Yes, he never wears a shirt with sleeves when he’s off-duty. And he always has a toothpick in his mouth (which is framed by a big mustache). But he seems like he’s nice, just kind of quiet. And slightly OCD.

He only has one son who is all grown up, so it’s just him and his wife. I thought it must be sad for him not to get any cute little Valentine’s anymore. So I baked the second big heart-shaped cookie and brought it over.

He gave me the weirdest look.

I wished him a Happy Valentine’s Day and left.

Then it dawned on me this morning; did he think it was a LOVE valentine? Does he think that I have a crush on him? I didn’t have the kids make any Valentine’s pictures. They didn’t even come with me to deliver it.

Oh my gosh, I am dying.

Please Officer Roy, don’t think that I like you! Gah, this is where being nice gets me.

| Filed under Bad Things, I'm Not So Great

13 thoughts on “Cops and cookies

  1. Oh you are too funny! I think maybe the weird look was cause you caught him off guard. Men are just goofballs. Next time you see his wife ask her if they liked the cookie you sent over. I am sure that will nip any "she has a crush on me" thoughts.

  2. Episode 7 of Season 14 in the sitcom of Jennie's life. XD

    Splendid.

    And I hate note-leavers. Passive-aggressive whiners, they be.

  3. I hope his wife wasn't there when you gave it to him, or he is going to have a hell of a time convincing him you're not having an affair!

  4. Maybe it was a look of panic because he forgot it was valentines day and he instantly knew his wife was going to kill him. Perhaps your cookie was re-gifted to his wife as an instant cop-out. Haha get it, COP-out!

  5. Lol! No, I mean it. I really did laugh out loud… at midnight while the rest of my family was sleeping. Thank you for making my day…or night as it were. And apparently you made Constable Roy's day too. 🙂

  6. You could ask him if his FAMILY liked the cookie. Besides, even if he thought you had a crush on him, your six kids in the yard, screaming and playing, would drive him away.

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