Me and My Colon

This is what I’m looking at right now. It’s a hard core, prescription laxative that’s getting my intestines sparkling clean for my colonoscopy tomorrow. Don’t let the name of the stuff fool you; it is not prepping you to watch a movie. I wish. There are movements involved; I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination. (I can actually feel your jealous vibes coming through my computer right now.)

I also am on a clear liquid diet all of today and tomorrow until my procedure around noon. I am thoroughly  starving and peevish and the only reason I haven’t killed someone is because I can drink pop. It’s considered a clear liquid, thank goodness. Since it’s a special occasion I’ve broken out a six pack of Mt. Dew.

The only thing getting me excited is that I plan to have a ginormous pile of BBQ brisket after my colonoscopy. I’m not expecting the doctor to find anything while he’s all up in my business. I’m merely going because my family history puts me at a higher risk. And, hey, sometimes moms have to resort to complete anesthesia in order to get an uninterrupted nap.

| Filed under Bad Things, Health, Yuck

8 thoughts on “Me and My Colon

  1. Good luck with that fun!! But good for you for being proactive!! And what brisket are you going to partake of after the procedure? You know I would bring your barbecue anytime, no colonoscopy required!

  2. Good luck with that fun!! But good for you for being proactive!! And what brisket are you going to partake of after the procedure? You know I would bring your barbecue anytime, no colonoscopy required!

  3. Make sure you keep drinking plenty of regular fluids, and maybe throw in some Gatorade with the Mountain Dew for good measure, for the added salt so you don’t get dehydrated. I’d hate for you not to be able to enjoy your brisket.

    Texas barbecue sounds lovely right now–looking out the window at a grey, rainy sky and 60 degree temps.

  4. When I had a colonoscopy my husband sat in (he’s an MD) and he said I was not completely out, just good and drugged up. I blabbered on about our ward Christmas party plans and random family gift details. The poor nurse now knows far more than she bargained for. My husband told me I would be a funny drunk. Good luck!

  5. I hope it went well. I’ve just dropped in because I am on the clear liquid diet today (starting the fun part of drinking revolting stuff in 15 minutes) for a colonoscopy tomorrow, and I googled, desperate for someone to identify with my starvingness. I have all three of my kids home today (one is only 3, but the other two are off school), and they are eating in front of me. Grrr.

    Well, actually Ms 6, my middle child, has eaten less than me in the past two days because she’s sick, but Mr 11 is a different story!

    Anyway, off to make a sandwich for Ms 3 now, while I curse and wail. Then I will come back and read your next post to find out how it went (and by the way, my reasons are also family history – a sister with bowel cancer at 42, plus cousin & aunt with breast cancer both at 40 – but no symptoms and no other reason to expect anything. Fingers crossed).

    1. Kirsten,
      Good Luck! The hunger and having to drink that gross stuff is the worst part of the whole thing! The procedure itself is a walk in the park. My friend came with me to the colonoscopy and I made her stop for BBQ on the way home. I was still pretty out of it, but I was hungry! Sadly I lost zero weight. Such a bummer after all those trips to the bathroom. Sigh.

      The good news is that they only found one polyp (it was kind of big) but it’s not cancerous. I’ll be back for another colonoscopy in three years.

      Have fun!!!

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