Where has Jennie been, you may be wondering.
We went to Phoenix to visit the in-laws. It went pretty well, considering there were 14 people with various codependent/bossy/dysfunctional/passive aggressive personality traits under one roof.
The weather was lovely, the pool was warm and the food was plentiful and fattening. I even reached my goal to abstain from Mountain Dew until Thanksgiving (our reunion was beautiful, in case you were wondering, but will be short-lived. I’m going to be going easy on The Sauce through the holidays and will be giving it up again for my New Year’s Resolution. Not permanently, mind you; I’m not insane. Like most unhealthy relationships Mountain Dew and I just have to break up from time to time.)
I actually woke up early on Black Friday. Not to go shopping, really. Just because I had three Mtn. Dews the day before and that stuff kicks my digestion into high gear, if you catch my drift. Since I was awake I figured I might as well take advantage of the sales and I set out for the mall (going to the mall at 5 am was great. Everyone was in sweats and ponytails. By lunchtime, though, things changed and I was the only homely, smelly one left. Apparently everyone else had gone back to bed).
At some point during the vacation I decided we would be doing family photos. These are always a big production with us. I do super matchy outfits, much to the dismay of everyone involved. Mister threw the biggest fit of the entire family. This year he was particularly heinous about it even though all he was required to wear was a black shirt. A black shirt! Big deal! Let me just cut to the chase and tell you that the pictures were a gigantic flop. An epic fail. I’m this close to picking the shot where everyone is either squinting or making a weird face and putting that one on our cards. Although I’m pretty sure everyone on our Christmas card list is a friend on Facebook, so really what’s even the point?
But on Friday morning I didn’t know any of this, so I set out to assemble all of our attire for the black-and-white-and-patterny photo shoot. I found everything I was looking for and even scored a bunch of Gymbucks and possibly our sweaters for next year’s Christmas picture as well.
I met up with Mister’s mom and we picked out the kids’ Christmas presents. I personally will be forgoing anything fun this year and am asking for barstools instead. Yep, it’s going to be a lame Christmas for Jennie.
(Maybe if I’m super lucky I might get a rug for the family room too.)
It’s almost as pathetic as the fact that several of my children’s “big presents” will be fillings for their cavities. If that doesn’t make them hate Santa, I don’t know what will.