The Kindergarten birthday party circuit has begun. And now that I’m on my sixth kindergartener I have made a decision: if I can’t drop my kid off and leave the party then we won’t be coming. Sorry. Your child’s birthday is not important to me. Isn’t it enough that we bought a present? Asking me to sit in a smelly bouncy house place for two hours is too much. TOO MUCH! I would do it for a best friend. But some random school acquaintance? Forget it! Life is too short to sit and make pitiful small talk. I’m not about to waste my precious Saturday on you.
Of course you say that it’s fine to leave. But I can tell from the feast of kid-unfriendly sandwiches and the relish tray that you mean to feed me so I won’t go. And then there are all the other parents who are standing around. I know they’ll raise an eyebrow if I take off. Maybe they’ll just be jealous. Just know this: as I sit in the corner glaring at you when I look up from my knitting, I don’t like you one bit.